i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Blood and glitter go together right?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
