And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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