i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
