i permit you to call me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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