So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
