I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
What a dumb baby whore.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
