so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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