so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
