I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
