You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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