I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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