all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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