Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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