I heard we made out
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
my liver is dry heaving
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
