You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
