i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
