seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
