In the future we'll all be gay
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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