i barfeds in our rink
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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