I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
