Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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