he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You dont lie about slip and slides
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
