I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
