I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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