i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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