Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I touched a dick in church today
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize