So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
