I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
