I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
