Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
