Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
