YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Damn victory sex feels great
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
