This girl is more easily done than said...
I puked a lego.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize