You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
