just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
