I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I would fuck him just for his dog
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
