Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
