you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
