is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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