Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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