I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
