census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
