My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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