Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
