And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
