In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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