i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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