oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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