throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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