your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Couch. On fire.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
