Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
BRING THE BAGELS
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
