Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
