Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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