I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
