i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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