I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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