i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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