I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
