No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
