nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
