How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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