So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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