I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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