Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize