I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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