A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
