Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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