the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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