I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
