I love black thongs
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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