She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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