I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
