About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I deserve this hangover.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
